Report #14

[10:16:27, 2/17/15]

Well this is a place I never thought I'd be again.

So this place burned down?

Yeah, like, a really long time ago now.

Like two years? Just kinda a lot now.

Seems like forever.

So you think she might show up here?

All I can say is that we have been travelling for months and months and I'd be willing to try anywhere even remotely possible.  I mean, fuck, I thought she wanted to draw me out.

It might be because I'm here.

She doesn't like you?

It's more I think she'd have a problem killing me. She would kill Anna in a second.

Oh.  That's....awfully relaxing.  Thank you.  Why would she have a problem killing you?

It's complicated...

Everything always is.

Heh, yeah. I suppose it is. Is it tough seeing it gone like this? I mean that's a whole house right?

Yep.  That's my whole house.  But I mean, it's almost easier this way?  Does that make sense?  Cause it's just empty, burnt grass and shit.  I feel like....it'd be harder if it was the house I knew.  This could be anywhere, I can just forget that it's my house.

Maybe it's good you get to come here and make peace with it.

Yeah, maybe.  I mean, I've never been big on that whole making peace crap, but maybe it will be good.  I mean, isn't that the whole reason I'm looking for my mom anyway?

Is it? To put her behind you?

Well, no, that's not what I meant.

What did you mean then?

I meant that I can't live my life leaving things the way they are.  She's, I mean, she's my fucking mother.  I can't find out she's alive after all this time and then just nod and say oh sure, that's cool, what's for breakfast.

Even though she might be dangerous?

Beau, my life is dangerous.  As corny as it sounds, I probably won't live very long whether I go find her or not.

Well you never know. Me and Anna are living proof of that, but if you do find her what do you plan on saying?

I....did not think that far ahead.

It's kind of an important question.

I guess so.  I mean, I have a general idea of what I want to say it's just.....when I try to put it into words it sounds really stupid.

Pretend I'm her. What would you say?

Are we really doing this?

Absolutely!

Fine, uh, hi mom.

Danny?

HOLY FUCK!

Oh shit.

What are you doing with my son? Get away from him!

Oh my god oh my god right now?  Right now?

GET AWAY!

Daisy calm down!

Calm....calm down!  It's okay he's okay it's fine!  God, don't kill him!

Oh my god, Danny, Danny.

Uh, hi...mom.

I didn't...I didn't think I'd ever see you again.

Woah Daisy back up right now.

Me neither.  You were dead.

Oh Danny.

Danny I'm serious! Let's just all take a deep breath and back away from each other!

Why are you a proxy?

What?

Ok I'm not fucking around here!

You...What did you and the witch tell him?

Daisy do not start pulling this shit.

Annalee?  She's not a witch, she's kinda a bitch, yeah, but it's different.

Just calm down okay? Let's all take a deep breath.

You were hiding him all this time. After everything I've been through, after everything I did, she was going to hide my own son from me.

No, she wasn't hiding me, you've got it wrong.  She saved my life, and I thought you were dead.  No one was keeping anyone from anyone else.

That's why you left that shack isn't it? Because you knew I'd found him.

I wanted to come find you...mom.  I wanted to talk is all.

You...wanted to see me?

Yeah!  I came out here trying to find you.

Sweetheart. How long has it been? I can't...Times been a weird thing. I missed you.

Like...fifteen years I think?  A long time.  A really long time.

You got so tall.

Did I?

My baby...

I'm not a baby anymore.  I'm twenty seven.

No I know, I know...I'm so sorry.

Why did you let us think you were dead?

I wanted to keep you safe. You were never supposed to get wrapped up in this.

Well what about after they found us?  When they burned the house down?  Why did it take you this long to come back?  And to not even come try to tell me you were alive?

I couldn't find you.

And then when you found me?

You disappeared again...He took you.

Now wait just a second

You need to shut up.

Hey, let Beau speak.

He's been helping her!

And she's been helping me.  Beau and Annalee are my friends.

She tried to kill me.

According to her, you tried to kill her.

Is that what you think?

She makes a very convincing case.

You're not going back there.

Of course I am.  I have nowhere else to go.

No you don't understand.

Daisy!

Back off! This doesn't concern you.

What don't I understand?

I'm here now Danny. We're together.

What, you want me to just roam around aimlessly with you?

That's not what I'm doing. I'm going to keep you safe.

I'm sorry, but I don't think you understand.  Yeah, I came to find you, and yeah you're my mom, but I don't know you.

You don't....oh...

I haven't seen you in years!  And even when you did live with us I can't say you were exactly a trustworthy role model.

Right...You're right. I'm...I'm...Shit, what am I doing?

You're confused.  I mean, I get what that's like.  I've been confused my whole life.

I need to get out of here.

Wait, I have more questions!

I'm sorry I just...I can't do this.

Daisy, wait.

I...............hate this.

So there she was.

I guess that's it.  That's what I came out here for.  That's what we've been spending all this time on.

Are you okay?

I feel less satisfied than when I started out.

We could follow her.

And what would that accomplish?  I mean, what did I even think meeting her would accomplish in the first place?

Maybe you wanted to save her?

Cause saving her went so fucking well last time.

You're not us though. You're you, and she's your mother.

I don't even know where I'd start.

I shouldn't...be saying this, but there's a person we can go talk to.

Who?

She's an old friend of me and Anna. She was in that old group.

I...I hadn't thought anyone else made it out alive.

She might be able to help us.

Help us, or help my mom?

I don't know, hopefully both.

Why didn't you tell me about her before?

I wasn't sure if Anna would want you to go see her after what happened with legion.

What does she have to do with legion?

It's complicated.

Well I think I should probably know before we find her, right?

It's just, Anna's got kind of a grudge.

Well then I'll turn off the recording and you can tell me on the way to wherever she is.

[END]

Report #13

[11:22:06, 11/23/14]

So, finally checking in. Status update, absolutely nothing.

Sorry, Bro. This might take a while.

I understand that. Doesn't make it not annoying as hell.

Like I said, we may not find anything at all. That said, it's weird being back here.

Have you come back since you were here with her?

No. Never.

For all our loyal listeners out there, Beau and I are currently in an abandoned warehouse. Why, I hear you ask? Because apparently this is the last place that my mom was with Rex's gang, right Beau?

This was the last place I ever saw her, yes.

Unfortunately, other than the delightful dank smell and the cobwebs there appears to be nothing here.

Your mother can use the path, so my guess is she'll come out when she's good and ready.

It makes me think there's no reason to keep moving around trying to chase after her.

Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. I doubt she'd show up around Anna though. They didn't uh...part on good terms.

Oh God no, I didn't mean waiting for her to show up at the shack. That'd be a whole extra level of nightmare.

My plan is to find some places with significance to her. Maybe she'll show up.

I guess that sounds as good as anything else. Though I'm not a big fan of hitchhiking, how can you do it so often, Beau?

I don't know. I've been doing it for so long it doesn't really bother me anymore.

I guess I understand the concept of being able to get used to anything.

You do live with Anna.

Exactly my point. I never thought I'd have a point in my life where I considered rattlesnake an everyday dinner item, but look at me now.

A true wild boy.

For those who can't see I am literally jumping for joy.

We are all so proud.

I should program sarcasm detection into this thing. Seems like it'd come in handy.

Well I was only half sarcastic.

Hm, it'd be tricky to program half sarcasm into it.

Well, now I suppose we'll need to figure out somewhere else to go.

You got any more hot spots?

Hot spots?

You know, important places from her past.

Well kid, she is your mom.

Do you......You think we should go to my house?

I don't know, should we? Was that place important to her?

I don't, I mean, she was never there, I doubt she'd care about it. More likely we should check one of her crack dens.

Any idea where one of those might be?

Nope. We could try her grave.

She wasn't really buried there though, was she?

I guess not. I guess this is just proving how little I know about my own fucking mother.

Well I'm guessing you were important to her right?

It's doubtful.

You okay?

I'm fine. It's just....how fucking pathetic is it that I can't even come up with a place that means anything to my own fucking mom?

Well that isn't your fault kid.

I know. I mean, yeah. It's been a long day is all. I had hoped we'd find something here.

Well maybe there's a clue here we still haven't found.

True. Wanna look around?

One more sweep can't hurt.

We're not going to get much else done today anyway.

Until next time then?

We'll check back in if anything actually happens.

[END]

Report #12

[2:53:45, 10/21/14]

Hey guys, guess who finally showed up?

I did.

Welcome to our humble shack Beau, how was your trip?

All right, ride could have been better. Got caught in a pretty messed up detour. Remember kids, don't hitchhike. It's dangerous and I'm a professional.

Thanks for the PSA.

It is my personal pleasure.

Anyway, first thing tomorrow, Beau and I are setting out to find my mom. I can't believe it's really happening. Thanks for doing this Beau, really really, it means a lot.

Well yeah, like I said, it is my personal pleasure. No big deal.

Sorry, I'm just fucking excited.

Right. No I know.

If you're excited I'd say you're going into this with the wrong attitude.

I'm not going to be stupid about it, Anna. But I mean.......Seeing my mom again, it's been something I never thought could ever happen.

Good for you man, I'm glad we can help make it happen.

I mean, I've been prepping for the past two weeks. My fingers are shot to hell, I'm not made out for this sewing shit. I even did some of that shooting practice Anna's always on me to do.

I have a sewing machine dumbass. You look like Raggedy Andy.

Shut up, I did it in the end.

It'll be super fucking funny when a bunch of money falls out of the legs of your pants.

Ha ha ha ha.

Shut up! I did fine, it's fine, it's good enough.

Ah man, don't get all pouty, Anna's just messing with you. This is how she shows affection.

Fuck you Roland.

See?

Good to know.

So Anna, are you letting us take the truck?

Fuck no, I need that.

We can hitchhike I guess. It'll be fine as long as the master is with me, right?

Yep, but it might take a little longer. We're working on conjecture here, so first stop is Texas. You sure you don't want to at least lend it to us?

I've got driving I've got to get done too, okay? And hitchhiking is the fucking worst. I once got picked up by a van of white supremacists.

What makes you think she's in Texas?

Last place I ever saw her. Thing about Proxies is they have "the path" so she could be jumping around anywhere.

Be honest Beau? What's the chance we actually manage to find her?

I can't say for sure. I'd say it's likely. You're her kid, and I think she wants to be found.

Yeah of course she does, so she can give you a big fat cuddly hug while driving a knife into your

Anna.

You don't know that Anna. I know you think you know better about everything, but you don't know that for certain.

I can reason a pretty educated guess.

Anna, come on, we're already here, we're going.

Tomorrow. We're leaving tomorrow Anna.

Right, yes. Of course.

Aww cheer up. We still have tonight.

Ew. Do I have to sleep outside?

No.

Yes.

Ew ew ew please let's not talk about it.

You're the one who asked.

Hey now, nothing to be embarrassed about we're all friends here. We tell it like it is.

You are not helping anything.

It's bad enough that you do it, just please please don't talk about it.

Our love is beautiful.

That is the last thing our love is and you know it.

Shhh...We are epic.

Moving on! Moving on. Um, Annalee, I'll teach you how to use that flashdrive program before we go, okay? Anything else that needs wrapping up?

Uh, one thing I guess.

What?

I got you something.

What? That's unlike you.

Oh yeah, I only let you live in my house without paying rent. Generosity sure isn't like me at all.

Fine, whatever, you're kindness incarnate. What is it? .........................Is this a rabbit's foot? Like an honest to goodness real rabbit's foot?

It honest to goodness is.

Did you like, cut it off a rabbit yourself?

What did you think I'd buy a shitty curio one? Those things are fake as hell. Don't even fucking know to get the goddamn left foot. Like what good is that piece of shit going to do anybody.

That sounds just like you Anna. Thanks.

You're welcome.

Nothing to wish Beau good luck?

Well...

Do us all a favor and don't even start that sentence honey.

Good call Anna. Before this all goes horribly, horribly off topic in the worst way possible, anyone have any last things to say on the recording?

May the road rise to meet us and may the wind always be at our backs.

You don't Irish bless yourself idiot.

And on that note, we'll end this report. I'll post again once we're on our way. We're leaving tomorrow. God, I can't even believe that. We're leaving tomorrow to go find my mom. See you all later.

[END]

No, I'm not an idiot

Though to your guys' credit, nobody seemed to think that I had stormed off into the desert after Anna and I had that fight. Maybe I'm not as “battle-hardened” as she is, but I wouldn't just go running out unprepared trying to find a proxy with several kills to her name. I have at least that much common sense. It'd be pretty much suicide wandering out by myself without any sort of plan, trust me, I haven't forgotten what happened last time I set out on my own. No matter how many times you've been kidnapped, you still remember just how much each time sucked.

I was still thinking about it, but meanwhile life has been going on as normal around here. Annalee's been doing what she does, still trying to do something about my favorite little brain implant, and I've been doing what I do. Been putzing about working on some kind of independent recording program, probably on some kind of disk drive, so that Annalee can still make audio reports from a different computer if she wants. I'm going to take mine with me when I figure out the logistics of going after my mom. And although I doubt that Annalee will even be able to figure out how to use the fancy tech I'm putting my time into making her, it could be useful for her to have. I have plenty of free time.

But none of that's really important, I'm making this update because things are finally getting moving. I made a call to Beau, the banjo guy who has the “history” with Anna. He knew my mom after she became a proxy, and he has agreed to come with me to find her. He seemed to have similar worries to Anna about it being dangerous, but was more understanding than her when I explained how important it was. Besides, I'm going to be careful about it.

We are leaving pretty much as soon as he gets here, which I think should be soon since he said he wasn't far away. Anna hasn't said anything, but I think she's looking forward to seeing him. It's hard to tell, but I think she really likes him.

Speaking of Anna, we've made up. I mean, she still thinks going after my mom isn't a great idea, but she's letting me go. She doesn't seem that upset about it, I think she even trusts me to be safe which is exciting, since she so often doesn't trust me. I also promised her that I'd have five easily accessible weapons on me at all times. I hope I won't have to use them, but it's safer this way, and it makes her worry less. I know she's worrying about me, isn't she sweet.

Speaking of sweet, she said I've grown up. Actual quote right there. Wish I'd gotten it recorded so that I could prove that she'd said it if she ever tried to take it back. This is a great sign of progress.

I'll check back in when Beau gets here. I can't wait to finally be doing something, I'm sick of sitting around here while my mom is alive out there.

Report #11

[2:13:05, 9/9/14]

So, hi guys.

Yes. Hello.

Wow, Annalee. Thanks for actually talking to me today, unlike recently.

Hey I talk to you.

Not about anything important.

I thought you said you wanted to do a report.

Yeah, I do. Where's my mother?

How the hell should I know? It's not like I've got a tracking collar on her or whatever.

Well an area then! I know you know, I know you've got an idea of where she is.

Oh you know huh? Did you know I once saw your mom rip a guy's throat out with her finger nails? Did you know that?........Danny I'm not an idiot. I know how this shit works. Its the oldest trap in the eldritch terror book and I know you think, Oh I'm Danny and I went to college so I have a fucking idea what I'm doing, but you don't okay? You are starting down one hell of a bad road.

Stop it. Stop saying shit like that.

No. Because you're thinking you've got the power to fix her and you know what? I'm going to tell it to you straight. You don't.

Well maybe I don't, but we can find someone who does!

She's a lost fucking cause.

STOP CALLING HER THAT!

She didn't care about you enough to be there for you when she was normal! What makes you think you're enough now! Shit. Fuck. I didn't mean that.

She's my mom, and you weren't fucking there! How do you know how she felt about me! Screw you and your stupid leave everyone behind life, I'm not you!

You're only setting yourself up to be hurt, or worse.

I'm sorry that my heart's not so frozen solid that I can just abandon everyone I ever loved like you do! Maybe if it was your mom you'd go out there and kill her without blinking but it's not, it's my mom. And maybe you've forgotten that there are things worth being hurt for!

Nobody said you had to go out and kill her.

You were thinking it! I bet you were thinking that if my mom was just dead then it would make everything so much fucking easier. Well, I lived with my mom being dead for basically my entire life and I'm not going back to it.

Alive or not she's not the person she was when you knew her. Is it not sinking in she's killed people? People who didn't want to do anything but help her! I was sixteen when she did this to me? Do you really want that back in your life?

You kill people!

I kill proxies Danny! I kill people who want me dead! People who have knives to my throat. You know why? Because I'm no good to anybody fucking dead. Not to them, not to you, or anybody else.

If I became a proxy, you'd kill me, wouldn't you.

Danny I'm trying to help you.

I know you would because you've fucking said that you would!

Would you calm down and think with your brain for one moment. Just be logical.

You say you're trying to help me, but you'd be the first fucking person to give up on me and put a hole in me or cut my head off or stab me in the heart or dissect me to look at the goop in my brain! I mean nothing to you!

Is that what you think?

Of course that's what I think because it's true.

You know what Danny. You're an adult. You make your own decisions. If you want to go find your mom, fine. Go ahead. I'm not going to stop you.

Maybe I fucking will, Anna.

Prove me wrong. I honest to God hope you do.

That's it. Recording over. I'm done.

[END]

Back From LA

So I'm back! We're back. Whatever, either way the whole mission was a failure. I've never seen Annalee so upset. Not that she's showing it on the outside, but I can tell she's pissed. Her "contact" had absolutely no idea how to take this spark plug out of my head. I'd be gloating over her finally getting beaten by someone if it didn't mean that I have a kill switch directly implanted in my brain.

That's really bringing me down these days.

In other news, Annalee won't let me out of the house. She doesn't want me going out to find my mom I guess. I mean, I get that. But I'm not a fucking kid. And it feels like I'm in prison or something. I never really realized how little freedom I have. Since I've gotten here, she hasn't trusted me to go anywhere alone. Annalee has all but literally chained me to my desk. She just keeps glaring at me from across the room, it's freaking me out. Basically, I'm not getting a moment to myself any time soon.

Now that I've got all this free time I've been going back through my old blog posts (nothing better to do. Why can't I remember how I spent all my fucking time before this?). Way back in the beginning I said that I wouldn't be hanging around with Annalee for very long. It's kinda weird to read that now, I mean, I'd completely forgotten about ever planning to leave. I don't know where I thought I'd go. And I'm obviously not going anywhere now with her literally keeping an eye on me every second.

Anna was also pretty pissed about me posting that last conversation. I am having a really hard time feeling sorry about it though. I deserved to know, (I deserved to know a LONG time ago), and now it's down in print, it's on the internet and it can never be completely deleted. It was about time I got the chance to have the upper hand on her.

I'm rambling. But anyway, I may be on here more often than usual cause I'm so bored. And I need something to keep me from staring at the door. She's my mother Annalee.

whathappened[2]

[8:42:17], 7/10/14

Is it off?

Yes its off, now tell me right now what that lady was talking about.

Danny, cool your jets for one second.

No! What the fuck was that lady talking about? Is she alive? Is my mother alive? You were asking about her, if we saw the body and we didn't!

Danny calm down.

IS SHE ALIVE ANNA!?

Yes! She's alive, all right?

...How long have you known.

...A while.

Define a while, Anna. We're you ever planning on telling me? No of course you weren't, because god knows this doesn't concern me in the fucking slightest, its only my fucking mother!

Listen Danny, ok? Just be quiet and listen.

I'm listening.

Your mom. She's not...She was involved.

Involved with what? With that thing? What do you mean involved? She was a runner? I knew her right up until she died and I never saw one sign of

Think harder. What exactly did you see.

...No. Fuck no.

Danny.

She was a drug addict, she wasn't a fucking proxy. 

There's a reason you're involved, as much as I hate to admit it, that bitch was right. There are no coincidences in this life, and you don't just begin to be stalked.

When did you find out this?

...Fifteen years ago, I was traveling around with a man named Rex, and his posse. You remember me telling you that.

That's where you met Beau.

That's besides the point. We found a proxy, who Rex was convinced we could bring back, but his plan backfired horribly and she wound up killing him and his girlfriend and giving me this scar right here. That was how I met your mother. 

...She was the proxy who..

You look enough like her its uncanny. When I picked you up in the woods that night I already suspected.

You knew the whole time. 

I didn't know for sure, it was just a theory.

Is that why you kept me?

Fuck no Danny, whatever the hell train of thought you're having, stop it right now!

Where is she?

I don't know.

Yes you do. You know!

Ok maybe I do, and if I tell you, you're going to run off into the dark to look for her? Danny's she's insane!

Was she the one who hacked my computer? IS SHE THE PROXY THAT's JUST BEEN SITTING AROUND OUTSIDE THE SHACK?

Danny do not go out there!

She's my mom Anna!

So fucking what? She's murdered people! She's tried to kill us! She left you to fucking rot and she didn't look back.

You said that Rex guy thought we could bring her back.

Don't even go down that road, now sit down and listen. Right now Laurel and her goons have a kill chip installed in your brain and we are going to get you fixed. Your mom is a bridge we are going to cross at a later date. I know a guy in LA who can probably take that think out. You're coming with me and that is that.

...She's my mom Anna. She needs me. 

...We'll figure it out.

What does that mean?

I don't know, we'll just...we'll figure it out okay. But right now, pack your bags, we're heading to LA.

[END]