Monday, October 20, 2014

Report #12

[2:53:45, 10/21/14]

Hey guys, guess who finally showed up?

I did.

Welcome to our humble shack Beau, how was your trip?

All right, ride could have been better. Got caught in a pretty messed up detour. Remember kids, don't hitchhike. It's dangerous and I'm a professional.

Thanks for the PSA.

It is my personal pleasure.

Anyway, first thing tomorrow, Beau and I are setting out to find my mom. I can't believe it's really happening. Thanks for doing this Beau, really really, it means a lot.

Well yeah, like I said, it is my personal pleasure. No big deal.

Sorry, I'm just fucking excited.

Right. No I know.

If you're excited I'd say you're going into this with the wrong attitude.

I'm not going to be stupid about it, Anna. But I mean.......Seeing my mom again, it's been something I never thought could ever happen.

Good for you man, I'm glad we can help make it happen.

I mean, I've been prepping for the past two weeks. My fingers are shot to hell, I'm not made out for this sewing shit. I even did some of that shooting practice Anna's always on me to do.

I have a sewing machine dumbass. You look like Raggedy Andy.

Shut up, I did it in the end.

It'll be super fucking funny when a bunch of money falls out of the legs of your pants.

Ha ha ha ha.

Shut up! I did fine, it's fine, it's good enough.

Ah man, don't get all pouty, Anna's just messing with you. This is how she shows affection.

Fuck you Roland.


Good to know.

So Anna, are you letting us take the truck?

Fuck no, I need that.

We can hitchhike I guess. It'll be fine as long as the master is with me, right?

Yep, but it might take a little longer. We're working on conjecture here, so first stop is Texas. You sure you don't want to at least lend it to us?

I've got driving I've got to get done too, okay? And hitchhiking is the fucking worst. I once got picked up by a van of white supremacists.

What makes you think she's in Texas?

Last place I ever saw her. Thing about Proxies is they have "the path" so she could be jumping around anywhere.

Be honest Beau? What's the chance we actually manage to find her?

I can't say for sure. I'd say it's likely. You're her kid, and I think she wants to be found.

Yeah of course she does, so she can give you a big fat cuddly hug while driving a knife into your


You don't know that Anna. I know you think you know better about everything, but you don't know that for certain.

I can reason a pretty educated guess.

Anna, come on, we're already here, we're going.

Tomorrow. We're leaving tomorrow Anna.

Right, yes. Of course.

Aww cheer up. We still have tonight.

Ew. Do I have to sleep outside?



Ew ew ew please let's not talk about it.

You're the one who asked.

Hey now, nothing to be embarrassed about we're all friends here. We tell it like it is.

You are not helping anything.

It's bad enough that you do it, just please please don't talk about it.

Our love is beautiful.

That is the last thing our love is and you know it.

Shhh...We are epic.

Moving on! Moving on. Um, Annalee, I'll teach you how to use that flashdrive program before we go, okay? Anything else that needs wrapping up?

Uh, one thing I guess.


I got you something.

What? That's unlike you.

Oh yeah, I only let you live in my house without paying rent. Generosity sure isn't like me at all.

Fine, whatever, you're kindness incarnate. What is it? .........................Is this a rabbit's foot? Like an honest to goodness real rabbit's foot?

It honest to goodness is.

Did you like, cut it off a rabbit yourself?

What did you think I'd buy a shitty curio one? Those things are fake as hell. Don't even fucking know to get the goddamn left foot. Like what good is that piece of shit going to do anybody.

That sounds just like you Anna. Thanks.

You're welcome.

Nothing to wish Beau good luck?


Do us all a favor and don't even start that sentence honey.

Good call Anna. Before this all goes horribly, horribly off topic in the worst way possible, anyone have any last things to say on the recording?

May the road rise to meet us and may the wind always be at our backs.

You don't Irish bless yourself idiot.

And on that note, we'll end this report. I'll post again once we're on our way. We're leaving tomorrow. God, I can't even believe that. We're leaving tomorrow to go find my mom. See you all later.


Thursday, October 2, 2014

No, I'm not an idiot

Though to your guys' credit, nobody seemed to think that I had stormed off into the desert after Anna and I had that fight. Maybe I'm not as “battle-hardened” as she is, but I wouldn't just go running out unprepared trying to find a proxy with several kills to her name. I have at least that much common sense. It'd be pretty much suicide wandering out by myself without any sort of plan, trust me, I haven't forgotten what happened last time I set out on my own. No matter how many times you've been kidnapped, you still remember just how much each time sucked.

I was still thinking about it, but meanwhile life has been going on as normal around here. Annalee's been doing what she does, still trying to do something about my favorite little brain implant, and I've been doing what I do. Been putzing about working on some kind of independent recording program, probably on some kind of disk drive, so that Annalee can still make audio reports from a different computer if she wants. I'm going to take mine with me when I figure out the logistics of going after my mom. And although I doubt that Annalee will even be able to figure out how to use the fancy tech I'm putting my time into making her, it could be useful for her to have. I have plenty of free time.

But none of that's really important, I'm making this update because things are finally getting moving. I made a call to Beau, the banjo guy who has the “history” with Anna. He knew my mom after she became a proxy, and he has agreed to come with me to find her. He seemed to have similar worries to Anna about it being dangerous, but was more understanding than her when I explained how important it was. Besides, I'm going to be careful about it.

We are leaving pretty much as soon as he gets here, which I think should be soon since he said he wasn't far away. Anna hasn't said anything, but I think she's looking forward to seeing him. It's hard to tell, but I think she really likes him.

Speaking of Anna, we've made up. I mean, she still thinks going after my mom isn't a great idea, but she's letting me go. She doesn't seem that upset about it, I think she even trusts me to be safe which is exciting, since she so often doesn't trust me. I also promised her that I'd have five easily accessible weapons on me at all times. I hope I won't have to use them, but it's safer this way, and it makes her worry less. I know she's worrying about me, isn't she sweet.

Speaking of sweet, she said I've grown up. Actual quote right there. Wish I'd gotten it recorded so that I could prove that she'd said it if she ever tried to take it back. This is a great sign of progress.

I'll check back in when Beau gets here. I can't wait to finally be doing something, I'm sick of sitting around here while my mom is alive out there.