Wednesday, July 17, 2013

So I Finally Got Shot.

I knew it was only a matter of time until it happened, but now that it has I'm not sure exactly what to say on the matter other then it caught me completely off guard and goddamn does it hurt like a bitch. Believe it or not it wasn't a proxy, or I guess it was, I'm still a little unclear on the whole matter. Annalee hasn't said much.

I'm getting ahead of myself though, it's just...Man has it been a rough couple of days.

So here's a fun way to wake up in the morning. You open your eyes to see a group of masked dudes covered in tatoos with machine guns and machete's that are all pointed in your general direction.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but Annalee has a very impressive arsenal. You wouldn't guess it but she's got some fire power that for the longest time I had no idea how she came by it legally. Until yesterday when it became painfully clear that she didn't come by it legally. Turns out she's been buying guns from gangs she's been conning in the Las Vegas area, and yes that is plural as in she's been buying guns from competing gangs, which is why yesterday morning I woke up with guns pointed in my general direction and a lot of angry teenagers screaming at me in Spanish.

There must have been about five or six of them, but they all looked between the ages of 15 and 20. They all had shaved heads and these really gnarly looking tattoos. I swear for a second I thought they were proxies.

The leader, Jaime, kid about seventeen was looking for Annalee because as he put it elegantly, "We're going to fucking rip her apart." Which when you're getting the crap beat out of you, is kind of a hard argument to fight.

The reason Annalee made off with a lot of these guy's shit without ever getting caught was because not only did she live in the middle of nowhere in the desert, but she's got a knack for disappearing and I won't lie and say I don't think Slendy has anything to do with it. There definitely seem to be some sources that have lead to her managing to evade the peril of people outside His control.

Jaime however, apparently was tipped off that this was the place she was at. He had me strapped to a chair and beaten senseless, as is often the case, and then tore apart the shack looking for Annalee. It didn't take him too long to find her, because to my surprise she wasn't exactly hiding. She was holed up in her operating room, asleep under her table with a bunch of paper work. They dragged her out and held her up execution style. She didn't seem all that impressed though.

I couldn't pick up a ton of their conversation because unfortunately it was in Spanish. Whatever Annalee was saying though it definitely had Jaime pissed off. He kept shouting and pointing at her and me, and then this one guy in a ski mask who I guess was like his right hand man? Eventually he got sick of Annalee's shit, and backhanded her. When he did that, he was close enough for her to trip him, he fell forward, which was her cue to rip her hands free, and turn the tables, holding him up at gun point.

Then she said something along the lines of "You don't fuck with me."

It was then right hand man went for her, and everything dissolved into chaos. They all but mobbed her, holding her down, which left me some space to escape. If there's one thing Annalee's taught me after getting caught so much, it's how to escape from rope.

I got loose and managed to shoot a couple guys in the head, and one guy in the back, and Annalee had already put one out of commission, so all this left was Jaime and his right hand dude. I was a little surprised by how close Annalee came with these dudes, but as she was fighting them I guess she noticed something because all of a sudden she looked really freaked out. She suddenly right-hooked the guy in a ski-mask and ripped his mask off.

This is where shit gets a little weird. The guy underneath the mask had this sick black growth coming out of the side of his head, and his eyes were totally dead. You know movies where like an alien monster latches on to somebody's head and controls them, that's pretty much what this dude looked like. This was enough to freak Jaime the hell out, and he started screaming "Que es eso!? Answer me bitch!" over and over.

Annalee seemed to know what was up though. I remember her asking the right hand man what he thought he was doing taking advantage of kids, to which he responded that she didn't really have any room to talk. She made a move to knock him out, but then his gun went off and it somehow ended in me getting shot.

So now, here I am, typing to you as I lay on Annalee's filthy as fuck operating table that was until now exclusively for dead people. She already took the bullet out and bandaged me up but fuck it hurts.

Jaime is chained up in the kitchen, still screaming mind you, and Annalee's got the proxy locked up in the cellar. She says we're going to interrogate him, so you can have that to expect.

We're all cool though, not too bad. Jaime fucked up the side of Annalee's face, but she didn't seem too concerned. We might get some good information out of this, so make due with what you got I suppose.

Hope the rest of you are doing alright too.


  1. Bloody hell. External azoth growth? Nasty.

    1. Yeah, it was gross looking. The guy talked weird too. I don't know how to explain it exactly, but if you ever saw that last Batman movie? The way the guy with the snorkle mask's voice sounds? Similar to that. Like he was talking in your head, instead of actually out of his own mouth, or doing both at the same time. It's freaky as fuck.

  2. My, my, my. Caught ourselves a big one did we? Well isn't that interesting. Danny, Danny, Daniel, Danny Boy. You seem remarkably blase about killing a couple people. Must finally be adjusting to the cold hard facts of life. This is Good. Might make it harder for you to get captured again.

    Buddy, does it occur to you that... Outside of your Technical skills, you are nothing but a load to your Girlfriend? Really, you ought to be practicing a bit more in fighting and shooting. Because one of these days... Someone clever little Proxy is going to come along and make you the bait in a plan that DOES NOT SUCK. They might even execute you as part of the plan. Just to make the ACTUAL threat of your dynamic duo mad. And as we all know, Mad People are stupid.

    You keeping talking about how badass your Girlfriend is... But she is the one most often in danger, eh? Tell me something. What are you gonna do, when she doesn't come home one night? Bet you would spend all week crying and moping about it. Wasting time. Putting yourself at risk... Do you she would want that. I mean, outside of some flirtatious threat. Pretty obvious that she does care A LOT about your well being for some strange reason. Kind of getting "Replacement Pet" vibes, honestly.

    It is something to think about, isn't it? Of course... You are already a smart guy. I am sure you have already thought all about this with a clear head. Just like you should in this situation. I am sure. Positive even. That you already have a plan in place to make the most of this eventuality. Good Work Daniel.

    1. I'm sorry, who the hell are you?

      Okay first off. Annalee is not my girlfriend. There's a million reasons why such an allegation is a sin against nature and I just threw up in my mouth a little. Now I need Brain Soap.

      Second, Annalee isn't a badass. Annalee is drunk middle aged woman who likes to wave a gun around and sleep under tables. I respect her life choices, I do not aspire to be like her.

      Third. Yeah, getting kidnapped is a common theme. I am Louis Lane, I get it ha ha ha, we're so happy you pointed that out. And you know what, yeah I am trying to improve. Been working on it.

      Annalee and I are partners, we watch each other's back. She saves my ass I save hers. That's how it goes.

    2. Shut the fuck up Danny. You don't even know how much of a fucking badass I am.

    3. Oh? Little old ME? I am no one. NO ONE. Was a runner for a while. Settled down since then. Enjoyed my remaining years. Waiting for permanent death.

      Well Lois, you sure ACT like a couple. You can't blame me for simply saying what everyone else thinks.

      But Lois, weren't you just waving a gun around to kill a couple of thugs? Seems to me like you were emulating Annalee.

      Try harder Lois. Try much harder. Some friendly advice. Start by SQUASHING Pimpleface over there. Trust me on this one. You do NOT want him running around. It could be contagious, you know.

    4. What exactly would you know about contagious pimples?

      The fuckers getting interrogated and then opened up for a peak, and then I assure you we'll blast his brains out. Thanks for the concern.

    5. Lots. I am a Doctor after all. Nasty spores. And Icky Fluids. Really. You are better off just blowing his brains out and being done with it. Trust me on this one.

    6. That's a suspicious answer if I ever heard one. Whatever proxy, I'll think about it.

    7. Think very. Very. VERY. Hard. Pretend Satan himself is inside that lovely, bloated and oozing face. BECAUSE HE MIGHT VERY WELL BE. Heheh.

      Seriously. Don't touch him.

    8. What's so wrong with him? Here I thought you of all people would be glad to hear someone was going to be chopped into bits.

    9. Do I have to draw you a fucking picture you brainless bitch? DON'T TOUCH HIM. Don't you fucking talk to him. Don't you fucking do ANYTHING around HIM. Shoot him and FORGET YOU EVER SAW HIM. Or I promise you. I SWEAR on Father's holy name. That I will come over there and do it FOR YOU. And then BURY YOU WITH HIM.

    10. Ooh looky, Morningstar is getting worked up. If I was Annalee I'd be even more curious about that weird proxy now.