ALRIGHTY. HERE'S A NICE PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR YOU BOYS AND GIRLS.

So apparently sometime on Friday, someone snuck into the storeroom and broadcast one of my old tapes across the interwebs.

Danny says it wasn't him.

Jaime says it wasn't him.

I can't think of any conceivable reason outside of mind control why I would do it.

So as you can guess, 

I. AM. FUCKING. PISSED.

Oh ho ho ho ho, and the best part is I can't even delete it. Nope. That shit is up there forever. 

Internet safety kids.

God I should have never gotten involved with this online shit. It is up there with worst ideas I have ever had. 

The last few weeks have been a nightmare. I've been up for weeks watching Danny to make sure he isn't sleep blogging after that last fucking incident. I get one decent night of sleep and this happens. FUCKITY FUCK FUCK. 

There's a proxy behind this I just know it. MORNINGSTAR IF YOU DID THIS HERE'S A FUN REMINDER I AM GOING TO TAKE YOUR INKY BLACK ASS AND SUCK IT INTO A VACCUUM CLEANER, THAN TOSS YOU INTO A GEISER. ACTUALLY. NO. FUCKING SCRATCH THAT. I'LL JUST DO IT ANYWAY.

BUT WHOEVER ELSE DID THIS, BE IT SOMEONE FUCKING WITH MY HEAD OR DANNY'S HEAD, OR WHOEVER.

Know this.

I am coming for you.

Prepare your organs, limbs, testicles and or lady parts for their inevitable demise. Spend a nice last dinner with them. Make it meaningful. 

BECAUSE YOU ARE FUCKING FINISHED. 

5/24

[?]

Okay, and that's five hours. Time to check your vitals. 

Five hours already?

Yep. Hold out your arm...Okay. How's your vision.

Good.

Can you read the chart?

O...E...X...A...B...G...F...D...C...

The F was a P.

Pretty good taking into account the state of your handwriting.

Go fuck yourself Summers. Look to the left...now the right...Up...down...okay. 

Is that your phone?

Yes.

Are you going to answer it?

No. 

Why who's calling?

It's Beau.

Beau? Oh no that can't be good news...

Don't worry about it doesn't have anything to do with this.

You sure?

Yeah. Here put this on your tongue.

(AUDIO CONFUSION.)

END.

Calm your selves people

So no I did not succumb to the dark slender throes in the night and begin tearing out my hair and ripping everyone I've ever known and loved limb from limb, although that took some time to explain to Annalee. You know getting tied up in a chair and questioned doesn't even really bother me at this point anymore. I feel like Princess Peach, where after a while you can just sit in that chair and make cake recipes.

I woke up yesterday morning and found that post on the blog. Annalee had me strapped up and questioned me for a while. I think I must've written it in my sleep...Which isn't good.

I used to have sleep walking problems as a kid where I could do all this shit in my sleep. My Dad has old home videos of me eating cereal while asleep. I've never typed shit in my sleep before, certainly not stuff like that.

Annalee wanted to know what is was about but, I don't know. I think this is all Slender Man messing with my head since he doesn't seem to want to show up. I've been bad keeping up my dream journal and Annalee has been on me about it.

You wouldn't believe how busy we've been guys, I can't even believe it myself. Annalee's store rooms got trashed when Morningstar showed up and did all his shit, and so there was that we had to reorganize and clean out. Annalee made a sort of handy-dandy wheel chair for Jaime, it's shitty but he can move around the kitchen alright by now. Since she's injured Annalee took the "take it easy" recommendation as turn into Bob the fucking Builder and renovate everything. She's cracked her ribs twice already. I've never seen someone so adamantly against lying still.

So yeah, not a lot of time for updates.

Jaime has been...okay. He's an ass yeah, but he's less of an ass now then he was before. I think he's actually been kind of sad. Annalee buried all of his goons, and the dude Redlight was feeding off of I think might have been one of his closer friends? He seemed really upset.

It's been a weird month in general with him trying to get used to us, and it kind of reminds me of me back then?

Anyways, yeah I'm fine. No big deal.

( x )

hate you



running runners running runners





easter sunday you wore black and ripped my hair out




monster you kissed a monster i saw you kiss a monster

one needle one cloud of smoke one needle one cloud of smoke

thought you were going to stay you said you would stay you said you would stay you said you would 

Report #8

[1:51:47}, 9/7813] 

We recording?

Yeah, are you comfortable sitting like that?

I'm fine. 

So we're back at the shack. Sorry it took so long, we just needed some time before we could move and it's not easy to record in a hospital. 

That old lady in there was a bitch.

She had cancer.

And I was throwing up blood. 

You both are bitch.

Thank you Jaime, that was my point.

Shut up faggot.

Key eres que me ponga jabon en la boca otra vez ...? Yo no lo creo.

...Puta.

Yeah, fuck you too you dirty piece of shit.

Were you going to contact Med about prosthetics for him?

I liked the plan where we tie him to his wheelchair and roll him off the grand canyon.

Yeah I know but...you think it's smart to just keep him here?

I've had nastier bastards. Besides it's a matter of standard.

What do you mean?


This dirty fuck deserves everything he had coming to him. And now I think it best we just leave him to sit there and think about his actions. The people you don't trust you either kill or keep where you can see them. 

And you don't want to kill him?

No. I don't.

It kind of seems like the thing you'd be all for.

There's a difference between putting down a terminally ill kitten, and throwing a handicapped one off a bridge.

No ables de mi como si yo no estoy ah key.

Si te remenas quedado en escuela pedazo de mierda que se sabe lo que deciamos!

What did he say?

He said he wants you to spank him with a paddle and call him buddy boy.

No but seriously?

I was being serios...ugg.

You alright?

Shit, leaned over the wrong way. Oh fuck, get me a drink.

Doctor said no drinking.

Get me a fucking drink...and you quit snickering Jose!

Annalee come on, look I got the pain medication right here

I don't need any fucking pain medicine just get me a drink.

Okay, how about a deal. Tell me who Tilde is, and what's up with all this Redlight crap with Georgia, and I will give you your drink.

...Who the fuck is Tilde?

Tilde! You know! That person who you kept calling at the hospital. Uses the little squiggle when she comments on the blog.

Oh...right yeah...

Well...are you going to tell me?

Just give me the goddamn pain medicine.

Seriously?

I thought we were over this shit. I don't have to tell you a goddamn thing Danny.

If you clue me in, maybe I'll be able to recognize a threat when I see one, or heck figure out a solution to whatever it is your dealing with.

It isn't that simple!

Why isn't it?

Because ideas are contagious Danny. Lets say the Slender Man is a big nuclear bomb, and me and people like me are the first responders who are looking in at the mess, when we come out nobody can touch us though because touching a person covered in that much radiation is a one way ticket to growing a second head.

You think if I find out, knowing about it will hurt me?

Yes. That is what I think.

Well you know and you seem alright.

That's because I'm fucking bamf.

You never said that until you heard those kids at the hospital say it.

Shut up. Point is were not having this argument, end of discussion, hand over the meds.

Just tell me one thing.

What?

Months ago, when you came in that one night and you collapsed and I thought you were dying...what happened?...Were you sick?

...I was visiting someone, and we were attacked, and I had an accident.

What kind of accident?

Just an accident alright? Now give me the meds.

...Yeah. Okay.

[END]

We Broke the Hospital Rule

So as you can tell, interrogation didn't go very well. In fact I think that might've been the worst fucking our shit has ever taken because I woke up yesterday morning in a hospital.

I don't know if she's mentioned this before but Annalee's got this "Don't get someone to fix something you can fix on your own rule," that applies to pretty much everything. She has a vehement problem with hospitals. She doesn't like them, she doesn't like putting the people inside them in danger, she has her own med kit, so she says don't check into hospitals.

But a few days ago she did. She checked herself, Jaime, and me into a hospital. That's how fucked we were.

I can't exactly remember what happened after the interrogation. We were underground in the storerooms, and Annalee was questioning the Proxy and trying to get him to tell her why he was there, when all of a sudden the door crashes in and this dude dressed like a cop starts firing at us. Annalee put a knife right through his head, but then he...came back to life I guess. I don't remember that being a part of a proxies skill set. 

This guy, Morningstar, I guess, came down and tried to get at the proxy. Annalee had me wheel him into the back cellar while she took him on alone. From what I heard from the door it sounded like she was really getting hurt. Her ribs were already broken I mean, and she'd make a fuss about sitting up in the morning and then here she is trying to fight off this fucking guy who just gets up when you put a knife through his head. 

Then the next thing I knew, there was this pool of that black stuff you guys are always on about leaking through the door, and Annalee was freaking out and trying to break it down and...jeez it just kind of latched onto me. I'm probably remembering this wrong but it started tearing me apart, and I blacked out and next thing I know we're in a hospital.

I guess out of everybody I got off the most scotch free, again. All I have are these weird burns all over that I hope are going to go away at some point. Annalee's ribs are officially in pieces and one of them punctured her stomach so she's been throwing up blood and been in a really terrible mood. She has a concussion, a broken nose, and is missing a ton of teeth. There's also this big chunk missing from her right arm, like somebody bit into it. 

Jaime's legs are gone. I know he's a hardened gang criminal and all but I feel sort of bad for the guy. He was chained up and didn't have any way to escape, and he's still in shock. He's been laying around staring at the wall with this terrified expression. I don't know what we're going to do with him, to be honest. It seems cruel to just leave him to fend for himself after we killed all his gang buddies and then crippled him for life.

Annalee made up a lie we were mauled by a mountain lion and I somehow fell into a campfire. I think she might be trying to bribe the doctor into letting us go without asking too many questions, which seems like a not too good plan. I don't know how rational she's being right now, considering last I spoke to her she was going to rip out her IV and make an escape via window, forgetting we're on the fourth floor and the fact that there is absolutely no reason she should be alive at the moment. She's really really pissed off by this whole ordeal.

She's being secretive again though, which okay I can understand because if I'd kept the secret about who all we have locked up we wouldn't be in this situation. 

I wish she'd just tell me some more of what's going on though, so I at least know.

The proxy mentioned Georgia, which was really weird. Georgia, see, she was a doctor. Like a really smart doctor. A lot of the notes in Anna's archive are hers, and you can actually read those. If he knew her...I don't know. I shouldn't be here talking about shit without telling her. 

I guess bottom line is we're all for the most part alive. 

Don't worry too much, I'm sure we can sort all of this out. 

Report #7

[12:45:25, 18/7/13] 

I suggest you run as fast as you can and as far as you can.

Or you'll kill me?

Yes.

What did you do to Danny?

Do you even have the slightest clue what you have done here?

Enlighten Me!

The Most Dangerous and Evil Person on the planet. And you just kept me from killing him. Today. Here. With him... We should have been allies.

He had information! Information I needed!

He had lies. He had sweet words. He had everything he needed including a new Body to run around in. To begin again.

HE WAS A FUCKING BOIL ON THE SIDE OF A DEAD MAN'S HEAD.

That boil. Was more dangerous than anything you have ever seen short of Father himself. Including me.

You think I didn't know what that thing was? You think I'm a fucking dumbass? Do you know what that autopsy could've had in it? Try the GODDAMN ANSWER TO WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR.

You KNEW? AND You were so fucking STUPID that you DIDN'T FUCKING KILL HIM ON SIGHT? Do you know what he is capable of? He was probably, oh I don't know, A few minutes away from hopping in your body? Or Danny Boy over there?

Which reminds me, WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM?

You should be more worried about what is about to happen to you.

Fix him.

No.

[audio confusion]

I said FIX HIM.

[audio confusion]

[screams]

Fuck...fuck...just...I'll give you information. If you put him back together I'll tell you what I found out.

Put him back together...? Oh... I can't do that. No. Not at all. I am sure his body would heal in time, but you two... You don't really have that as a luxury anymore now do you?

Then I guess you'll never know what it is that will wind up killing you.

A LOT OF THINGS CAN KILL ME! A lot of things... WORSE than Death out there. And that Big Red PSYCHOPATH is at the center of ALL OF THEM.

[cough] In all frankness I think I know which one I'd rather deal with.

You think so huh? You think he is preferable to me...? There is something I do want to know. Might even spare someone's life in exchange. How did you know who he was, cause he sure as hell didn't tell you.

Why should I...tell you a thing?

Because if you do I want kill Lois Lane over there. What do you think Superman? Sounds like a good deal, doesn't it?

Prove it. Fix him. And I'll tell you.

I'll be right back then.........

[screams]

......Done.

Is the kid upstairs still alive?

Yeah. But won't be walking around for... A Long, Long time. Now tell me.

Years ago, a guy broke into my store rooms...It was the only time I ever met him, but I didn't forget it.

Why?

There's a lot of information stored up in here. It's more valuable than someone like you would realize.

Don't presume to know what I do and do not realize...Hmmm...Interesting... Tell me something. What do you hope to gain from chatting with him?

How could I of all people pass on the chance to dissect red light?

Now that, I can get behind. But you are wasting your time. That wasn't Big Red's Body. Nothing in there would have helped. Trust me. I just ate it... But... If you are so very keen on findng red light again...Maybe I can let you live. Just a bit longer. On the condition that if you find anything that even SMELLS of red light. You tell me. Immediately.

I'm not your dog.

Well fine. If that is the case, maybe I oughta give you a taste of your own medicine. Let's see what makes you tick, huh?

Go to hell!

[footsteps]

Oh what now!......OH COME ON!!...Please?...Just an HOUR!...Just give me a fucking HOUR!... Well kids! It's been a blast. But there's trouble back at the ranch and it's all hands on deck. Annalee, you take care. If you run into anymore Redlight related trouble, just give me a call and we can have another dance. Danny, stay in school, eat your vegetables and be in bed by Nine. Kay? Kay. It's been a blast, really.

[groans]

................

[bottle clink]

Hey...it's me...when you get this message nng...c-call me back. You and I are going to have to talk. I need to know how to obliterate Morningstar.

[END]

Report #6

[12:00:33, 18/7/13] 

Is it recording?

Yes, but

Good. Okay you ugly motherfucker, just what the hell are you?...I asked you a question!

Annalee, this is crazy.

Listen to me Danny, this thing isn't a proxy, it isn't human, now shut up and record. Why are you here?

Georgia...Summers...

Excuse me.

Where is she?

She's dead you piece of shit. 

Where's the antidote?

The antidote?

Danny shut up. 

You...you're going to help me.

Like hell I'm going to help you. Why did you come back here, huh? 

You know this guy?

Danny I'm not going to tell you again. 

I can't die...not supposed to die. 

Why does morning star want you dead?

Morning star? You told morning star I was here?

No I

[audio confusion]

Holy shit! Annalee that was the land mine!

I know! Shut the fuck up Danny.

He's coming! He's coming and he's going to kill me!

We're going to have to move this along, sorry but rough luck.

[screams]

Annalee! That's Jaime!

Danny for the love of God shut your trap!

[audio confusion]

Put your hands up and get on the Ground. One Warning.

Holy fuck!

[screams]

Holy fuck! Holy fuck! What did you just do? Holy fuck Annalee you just...did you just kill a cop? Shit Annalee...Annalee are you listening?

Guess I was wrong...Then again...I'll deal with him later.

Deal with him later? Is this what we're doing now? Killing police officers.

That thing isn't a police officer. Hand me the scalpel.

He'll kill me! Dammit he'll kill me!

Put a sock in it!

[screams%&*Audi0c@nfusion]

Oh god make it stop.

WHAT ARE YOU DEAF?

[gunshots]

My goodness. How the mighty have fallen.

DON'T TOUCH ME. DON'T LET HIM TOUCH ME.

STAY DEAD. WHY WON'T YOU STAY DEAD YOU FUCK? 

DANNY GET IN THE GODDAMN STOREROO

[END]

So I Finally Got Shot.

I knew it was only a matter of time until it happened, but now that it has I'm not sure exactly what to say on the matter other then it caught me completely off guard and goddamn does it hurt like a bitch. Believe it or not it wasn't a proxy, or I guess it was, I'm still a little unclear on the whole matter. Annalee hasn't said much.

I'm getting ahead of myself though, it's just...Man has it been a rough couple of days.

So here's a fun way to wake up in the morning. You open your eyes to see a group of masked dudes covered in tatoos with machine guns and machete's that are all pointed in your general direction.

I don't know if I've mentioned this before but Annalee has a very impressive arsenal. You wouldn't guess it but she's got some fire power that for the longest time I had no idea how she came by it legally. Until yesterday when it became painfully clear that she didn't come by it legally. Turns out she's been buying guns from gangs she's been conning in the Las Vegas area, and yes that is plural as in she's been buying guns from competing gangs, which is why yesterday morning I woke up with guns pointed in my general direction and a lot of angry teenagers screaming at me in Spanish.

There must have been about five or six of them, but they all looked between the ages of 15 and 20. They all had shaved heads and these really gnarly looking tattoos. I swear for a second I thought they were proxies.

The leader, Jaime, kid about seventeen was looking for Annalee because as he put it elegantly, "We're going to fucking rip her apart." Which when you're getting the crap beat out of you, is kind of a hard argument to fight.

The reason Annalee made off with a lot of these guy's shit without ever getting caught was because not only did she live in the middle of nowhere in the desert, but she's got a knack for disappearing and I won't lie and say I don't think Slendy has anything to do with it. There definitely seem to be some sources that have lead to her managing to evade the peril of people outside His control.

Jaime however, apparently was tipped off that this was the place she was at. He had me strapped to a chair and beaten senseless, as is often the case, and then tore apart the shack looking for Annalee. It didn't take him too long to find her, because to my surprise she wasn't exactly hiding. She was holed up in her operating room, asleep under her table with a bunch of paper work. They dragged her out and held her up execution style. She didn't seem all that impressed though.

I couldn't pick up a ton of their conversation because unfortunately it was in Spanish. Whatever Annalee was saying though it definitely had Jaime pissed off. He kept shouting and pointing at her and me, and then this one guy in a ski mask who I guess was like his right hand man? Eventually he got sick of Annalee's shit, and backhanded her. When he did that, he was close enough for her to trip him, he fell forward, which was her cue to rip her hands free, and turn the tables, holding him up at gun point.

Then she said something along the lines of "You don't fuck with me."

It was then right hand man went for her, and everything dissolved into chaos. They all but mobbed her, holding her down, which left me some space to escape. If there's one thing Annalee's taught me after getting caught so much, it's how to escape from rope.

I got loose and managed to shoot a couple guys in the head, and one guy in the back, and Annalee had already put one out of commission, so all this left was Jaime and his right hand dude. I was a little surprised by how close Annalee came with these dudes, but as she was fighting them I guess she noticed something because all of a sudden she looked really freaked out. She suddenly right-hooked the guy in a ski-mask and ripped his mask off.

This is where shit gets a little weird. The guy underneath the mask had this sick black growth coming out of the side of his head, and his eyes were totally dead. You know movies where like an alien monster latches on to somebody's head and controls them, that's pretty much what this dude looked like. This was enough to freak Jaime the hell out, and he started screaming "Que es eso!? Answer me bitch!" over and over.

Annalee seemed to know what was up though. I remember her asking the right hand man what he thought he was doing taking advantage of kids, to which he responded that she didn't really have any room to talk. She made a move to knock him out, but then his gun went off and it somehow ended in me getting shot.

So now, here I am, typing to you as I lay on Annalee's filthy as fuck operating table that was until now exclusively for dead people. She already took the bullet out and bandaged me up but fuck it hurts.

Jaime is chained up in the kitchen, still screaming mind you, and Annalee's got the proxy locked up in the cellar. She says we're going to interrogate him, so you can have that to expect.

We're all cool though, not too bad. Jaime fucked up the side of Annalee's face, but she didn't seem too concerned. We might get some good information out of this, so make due with what you got I suppose.

Hope the rest of you are doing alright too.

Important: Missing Info

Recent events have made me start to reevaluate some of my past subjects. I've had some things called into question and things I didn't think were important before have suddenly become very important. This file in particular. It's almost a year old now.

Age of Subject: 20-25

Sex: Female

Height: 5,3''

Weight: 94 pounds

Cause of Death: Drowning.

Subject was found frozen in a pond. Body has suffered mild deterioration but is overall in tact. Blood stream shows almost 100% concentration of Black Liquid, no blood is present in the body. Skin is sickly color. Eyes are not dilated as they should be after death. Heart is missing from autopsy, but removal was not the cause of death, suggesting heart was removed after subject died. Water in lungs has trace amounts of black liquid, though may have washed it out while subject was drowning. Head shows evidence of numerous concussions before death as well as a fractured skull that was stapled closed. Brain is saturated with black liquid where cerebral arteries should be filled with blood. Subject shows signs of extreme weight loss, leading to the assumption she was lost in the woods at the time of her death. Black Operator symbols are carved into skin, the oldest dating at relatively two months before death, though some show signs of being carved over more than once. The newest can be dated at several minutes before death. Dried black liquid can be found under nails, confirming these cuts were self inflicted. Left arm shows signs of recent break. Tongue is mangled, as though subject attempted to bite it off. There are no signs of other wounds on person.

This particular girl wandered through my territory a little while before her death. She was far gone to say the least. Could barely get a coherent word out of her before she up and vanished. She left a couple of dead birds on my doorstep and the next time I found her she was face up at the bottom of pond, completely frozen. One of the weirder deaths. My guess is she probably killed herself. 

She said a lot of things, but one I remember a lot was that whatever she'd done wasn't her fault. When you're crazy like she was it's hard to be sure on any count. Personally I wasn't a fan, but then I have a hard time pitying proxies anymore. It's one of those things I don't feel much like over-thinking. 

She had a journal on her she wouldn't let me look at. She nearly clawed my eyes out when I reached for it. It has come to my attention this journal might be of some importance, though I really don't have any idea for sure. My memory is shit but I can swear it was blue, had some kind of design on it. It's bothered me for a while, and now that certain things have come to light, I have reason to believe it was important. It wasn't anywhere to be found when I dragged her out of the lake, so it may in fact have been destroyed. 

If anyone has seen anything like it out there, do drop me a line. It would suck absolute shit if it had the key to all of this, and someone had already shoved it through a paper shredder.

Consider it missing and in need of finding. 

Fourth of July

You'd think with a bunch of fractured ribs and the fact she can't go two and a half seconds without shouting "MOTHERFUCK," Annalee wouldn't be all that excited to go to a 4th of July display. Well guess I was wrong on that front. She woke me up this morning and told me to get in the truck.

I really had no idea where she wanted to go and she was keeping a tight lip about it. Said she wanted it to be a surprise. So I drove while she laid down passenger shouting bloody murder every time we hit a bump. I know I should feel bad for her because she's basically been put out of commission for six weeks with her ribs but I've seen the woman pull bullets out of her stomach, and I suppose it's just best to say she's a lot more volatile about her pain then she is affected by it.

We drove out to this seedy little place right outside of Vegas and waited there until night fall. There was quite a bit of boozing and swearing on her part. She bought us some hotdogs and beers and we wound up on the hood of her car watching the fireworks being shot up from various hotels and listening to Johnny Cash blast from the truck's crappy stereo. Annalee said something along the lines of "Johnny Cash is as American as gets." I don't know whether to say she's right or wrong because Weirld Al is pretty American guys, but it was nice all the same.

I don't know how she keeps up with this sort of stuff though. I've never seen a Calendar in her shack and even I can't keep track of days, but she's got them all internalized. Maybe she thinks the structure is necessary or something so she knows when her vacation days are from shitty desert hell.

Or maybe she's just doing it for my sake. Who knows. She seemed more interested in Cash than any fireworks. It feels kind of like we're coming to a compromise on some things, which is funny because it also feels like we haven't said two words to each-other since we got back. I think that's alright though. We've reached our understanding of one another and it's good.

It's been a long time since I've had anyone I could consider a friend.

Happy 4th of July everyone.

Another Bad Dream

I've been so tired lately that really there hasn't been much room to sleep. I've taken up sleeping the same way a two-year old does, which would be sleeping on and off every two hours when I'm not being hit over the head by Hippies with banjos, or being kept up by Annalee. Recently she's been pretty in-active due to the ribs, if a little crabby, and tonight was the first full night of sleep I've had in a while.

So of course it'd be a nightmare.

I fell asleep next to Annalee on the couch and I dreamed that I was standing in a warehouse. It was dark, and it was hard to tell if it was supposed to be night or day. Beau, the hippie with a banjo, was there with me. His face was all torn up though and he looked like he'd been through hell.

He said, "You best be careful which cage you build for yourself, kid."

It didn't make sense, but I looked over and saw the floor of the room was soaked with blood. There were bodies on the floor, gaping up at us.

I wanted to ask Beau where we were but the next thing I knew I was falling and I landed in a clearing. The trees were all black and dead like they'd been burned and in the center of the clearing was a dead deer. It looked like it'd been shot in the head, and the funny thing was the first thing that popped into my head was that Disney movie. The one where the mother deer gets shot. I'm too lazy to google it right now, it had a B in it, didn't it? I used to love that one I don't know why I can't think of it.

Beau came up behind me and I think I was crying. He said something along the lines of, "Just let it lie."

Then Annalee woke me up by shooting a rattlesnake of all things. Just glad it wasn't a fucking deer, though I doubt there are many of those in the desert.

I have no idea what to make of it. It seems like nonsense. Definetly not as straightforward as the dream about zombies.

Annalee seems to think the deer represents something I'm close to, or something that makes up a good deal of my life, and that the reason I had the dream was because that part of me is no longer there or something. I don't know, it seems to make sense to her althought she can't tell me why the hell my hippie guardian angel was there or whatever. She doesn't seem to want to talk about him that much at all, which is weird because if it weren't for him spouting out where I was at and then putting it on the blog she would've never found me. Oh well, I don't think I really even believe dreams mean all that much, at least not this one. It was too random.

Still, if you all have any ideas, I suppose they'd be helpful. That's all I've got for now.

And that's why you don't get into petty fights.

Did I ever mention that rule? Don't fight about shitty stuff because if you do, you wind up lying on a couch with two broken ribs and nothing to do.

Glad to see the world didn't completely come to an end while I was away. Though it seems we got pretty damn close.

But you don't want to hear about that do you? I'm assuming you all want to hear about what all was up with me while I was out looking for Danny.

Now contrary to what some of you seem to think (~, I am looking at you.) I am an uncaring bitch who doesn't give a rats ass whether you live or die. That's not even true half of the time assholes, since every fucking thing I do is all for the benefit of saving peoples lives.

I wasn't actually really expecting him to actually leave. I thought he'd wander off for a bit and then wander back since that's usually what happens when I kick him out. This time was a little different then the other times though. We hadn't really gone at it like that before. I went off looking for him and, (as seems to be the case anytime I decide to do anything,) had to jump through a few loops. I was already exhausted as hell when Roland gave me an address, and on top of that I had to go through this proxies boss. One of the nastiest fights I ever had.

The Boss, as I shall call him in order to sound ironical, was a big ugly lookin guy. He was weird looking too, dressed in all red. The second I saw him the hallway of that hotel got cold and dark and it felt like we scuffled for days. He got me pinned, and like an idiot chose the opportunity to stamp on my stomach, which accounts for the broken ribs. He was trying to break my leg when I got the drop on him and managed to slit his throat. After that the loop died. My guess was this asshole Boss wanted me dead and was the one utilizing the loops, using Danny as bait. The probation proxy is the one that I've been dealing with back home for the last few days, (though if ever there were a case of man behind the curtain...)

It's been a rough couple of weeks and I'm glad to be home. I'm glad Danny is here with me. Fucking hell am I glad this didn't turn out worse.

He was right I guess when he said I have a hard time dealing with the fact I can't save people. I try with the tips on self-defense and the shoulds and shouldn'ts and so on, and I wish I could cure proxies and kill these things that are dogging us. I wish I could watch more runners die happy. But that's not the way the world works, and I wish I could change that too, but that's not something that will ever occur. But at the same time I refuse to become complacent with the shit I am witnessing. I may have hardened to loss of life over the years, but not to emotion and not to the evil in this world. I do everything in my power to stop that, and I know that my effort and the effort of everyone who works to prevent evil is not insignificant.

And as for Georgia.

Fuck, we'll save that talk for some other time. I don't have the energy tonight.

Back at the Shack

Annalee is finally up again, and drinking to boot which I guess is a good sign. We're back at the shack and she's been sleeping on and off. The last few days for her haven't been that great. According to her she went out looking for me not long after I left and got caught up in shit with that proxy. Apparently there were goons who were trying to get me killed, specifically the boss proxy who fucked her up. She didn't know where I was and was having a hard time tracking me down, all while the proxy was screwing with her. I asked her how I'd recognized the proxy but she said that was probably in my head, that I wouldn't know him. I think she's lying but whatever, I'm not going to get on her for that again. At least not right now. I think after all that shit I trust her enough to know she isn't going to try anything.

In all frankness I've been pretty exhausted too. After sleeping on park benches I have new found appreciation for the shack. Right now I think we're both trying to focus on recuperating. Annalee's got some broken ribs she needs to focus on healing. I'm also probably going to be in for a rough patch here soon, since I left the meds I had in the hotel room. It won't be as bad as the first time I went off them, but it won't be much fun.

Otherwise we're all fine, and we'll keep you updated.

So Okay...

Everything is alright now. I don't know how, but somehow shit turned out alright.

After Beau knocked me out, he dragged me to a hotel where I guess we were staying. I don't know for sure because I've been out for a while. It's hard to remember exactly what happened, but I do know this.

Yesterday night at 3 am somebody hacked into my laptop and made a recording. 



Hey, you're waking up...

I...wait a minute...you!


(I'm guessing I recognized the proxy.)


Hey, don't get up to fast you're going to get a head rush or something. 

....Where...Where is Beau?

Him? He left.

......


(The hotel window in our room is broken, like someone went through it. I'm guessing that's how Beau "left.")


How are you feeling? You've been looking pretty terrible, and after all the cold turkey stuff too. Danny you need take it easy. 

The fuck do you want with me?

Whoa! What makes you think I want anything with you? We're just talking Danny.

Stop fucking calling me that!

Oh that's right you prefer Daniel. Heh, it's kind of a funny coincidence am I right?

What is?

Well that's what your mother called you wasn't it? And now that's what she's been calling you.

How the hell do you know that?

Oh you know, you hear stuff.

How the hell do you know shit about what my mother does?

Hey, all in good time. We don't want to rush anything.

Rush anything?

We've barely scraped our way out of the exposition Danny. I can't just reveal everything in one go, then what kind of villain would I be?

You're insane.

Well I am a proxy. Sanity isn't exactly necessary for the application.

Are you here to make me a proxy?

It all goes through one ear and out the other with you doesn't it, oh tisk tisk, I guess I can give you an idea of what your role in this scenario is. Might help things run a little smoother in the long run you know? It's a double edged sword knowledge, Annalee will tell you that any other day of the week. Truth is Danny, you're bait again.

What? Bait?

[Audio Confusion]

Oh and speak of the devil.


(There's a lot of corruption and weird noises at this point, I'm assuming because Annalee is a noisy bitch. I cut the part that was hard to understand.)



and if you think about hugging me again I will personally carve your eyes out!

Heh, well I suppose it's better than just outright doing it. I mean you gave me warning this time. I think we're starting to get to know each other.

I told you to shut the hell up.

The blood on your face...oh dear you killed my boss.

Your boss?

I've been on probation for a while. People seem to think I'm a loose cannon.

Can't imagine why.

I rather liked him though. Nice fellow, kind of like you around the temperament.

Annalee, I'm here!

[Footsteps]

The fuck did you do to him?

Well to be fair, he mostly did it to himself, I mean...What did you expect would happen when you kicked him

[Audio Confusion]

Ooo. Yep. That...That was by nose.

Aren't there some other idiots around who you could go scare with your antics?

But Annalee, you are scared of by antics aren't you?

How about I shove your head into the radiator and then we'll see. 

Careful, I'm recording this.

What?

Don't say anything you'd regret telling everyone.

You son of a bitch.

Don't talk about my mother that way, come on Annalee, no need to be so har

Get the fuck out of my sight.

See that's what I'm talking about right there, you always

I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT.

Okay, Okay, a guy can take a hint. Sorry for bothering you. 

Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Oh...fair warning. He's here.

Wh



(The audio cuts out here again. The recording starts spewing errors. This is the last bit that's eligible.)



Sorry.

I know you are, hun.

I don't want to die.

Of course you don't.

I don't want to be a proxy. 

Shh...Nothing is going to get you. I'm here alright, so stop crying you dumba



And that's where it ends. When I came to, Annalee and I were hiding in the hotel room's closet. Annalee's still out cold. The fight with whoever's boss along with spending a night hiding in a closet from Slenderman really took it out of her. Right now she's sleeping in the back of the truck, and I'm trying to drive back home.

I'll give you guys some more updates later.

Also thank you.

Blue is the best damn color!

[01:59:32, 19/6/13]

So what I just talk and...shit look at that!

Yep, that seems to be the reaction to this sort of thing.

Shit man! Shit.

Yes. Shit indeed.

Ha, this is great. Look at that. She sells sea shells by the sea shore. Mary had a little lamb. I fought the law and the law one, no one...one...Ah well, close enough.

So alright then, sorry about the last post everyone. As you can see I am not dead, nor in any immediate peril for now, nor was I being followed. Well okay...strike that, I was being followed by this guy.

Hello.

Want to introduce yourself dude?

Uh...okay. My name is Beau. Beau Roland. 

And tell us about yourself Mr. Beau Roland.

I am a traveling minstrel. A musical nomad. I go where the wind calls me, with Banjo in hand, singing the songs of the infinity.

That's fucking beautiful. 

I know right? If only I could make it rhyme.

So it turns out Beau was the one tracking me, because...uh...because?

Well you seemed like a pretty lost little dude. I noticed you fucking around in the town, looking miserable and shit. Figured I'd stick around to see if you were alright. Not like I had any where else to be, wind was calling me to you.

Yeah, that's why. Real good guy this guy. 

Right back at you.

Heh, so...you're a runner right?

Well...I guess so if you're talking pale men in suits. I'm not in a big hurry to get gutted out and strung up in a tree. But he ain't the boss of me or nothing. I just go where I want.

It's lucky I met you.

That's one way to put it.

Huh?

You could call it fate if you want. Ultimate destiny. That kinda shit.

What?

Just talking to myself. 

You're so fucking weird.

And you're so fucking high man.

Heh, yeah. 

You out here by yourself?

Yeah, I got kicked out of the place I was squatting in cause I suck.

So I heard.

Everyone's fucking heard. Everyone's all, Danny gotta go out and live and stuff. Don't give up! Fuck that. Fuck trying! Fuck Annalee! Fuck my Dad! Fuck fucking every one.

That's a lot of fucks.

I give no fucks!

Okay man, okay. Calm down. Truth is I'm not really here by accident.

What?

I'm like your spiritual guide man. The mystical vision who appears to you to guide you on your journey. Like the animated lion cloud formation in that one Disney flick. 

What?

I'm here to give you some worthwhile advice. 

Fuck advice!

Hey, quiet down man. You're losing it. Now you're in a bad place. I get that. Now I've looked you up some. Paid your old man a call. And I get you. You're one of those poor souls the world likes to forget. Like Eleanor Rigby.

Who?

Exactly! Now I know your tripping cliffs right now, and you probably can't understand one thing I'm saying, but hopefully you're gonna read this when it goes up on your blog. I know why you don't like people trying to help, you think you're gonna belly flop and let em all down. But you know what they say about losing every game you don't try in. That's like kindergarten right there. It's easy enough. Wandering off on your own and being a jerk off ain't no way to help anyone. You're just running cause you're scared.

Ugg! Stop talking!

You been treated bad, and I'm sorry for that. But don't waste time feeling sorry for yourself. I don't feel sorry for myself. I think my life is pretty good. I had a free meal at a Mongolian Barbecue today, and made love to this fiery mamacita just the other day. 

I...I thought you said you fucked a guy.

Hm? Oh yeah, him too. I get around. Point is, the sun's up right now and it's shining. And the air is sweet and the birds are singing, and tonight we'll look up and see the stars burning brighter than anything, and we know they're there but they're too far away to see. And the sky will look like a big pretty bowl stretched out farther than anything. And you only got one life to see all that, to enjoy it. So you may not survive buddy, in fact I guarantee you won't. But the universe is singing! It's all there, more majesty for a peasant who knows that than a king who doesn't. So why worry and lay down on the ground with your eyes closed? Huh. Live kid! I won't tell you it's easy, but it's sure as hell a miracle that too many folks take for granted. 

...Who are you?

Beau Roland, poet and minstrel of the land. A land that is specifically Caliente, Nevada in a parking lot, down town, near the city's biggest library. Hurry, we aren't alone.

Hey what do you think you're doing?

Calm down, you'll thank me for this. 

Ooof! 

[audio confusion]

.......Okay...now how do I turn this thing

[END]

This is it.

There's someone following me. He's been there for a few days now, and I'm not going to pretend I don't know why he's there.

Well this is it. Whatever happens now happens.

I'd like to tell you if it comes to it I'm going to go down fighting, but of course I can't make any promises. In all likelihood I'll just wind up embarrassing myself.

I don't know what will happen to the blog after I'm gone. Chances are this is the last post.

So I guess I might as well get some shit off my chest.

First to all of you people who've been following the blog. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I've been that douche who walks in last minute and fucks it all up. I'm sorry you've had to waste your time reading my bitching only to have this be the final conclusion. I know you are all as scared as I am and it is probably infuriating to see an asshole like me throw it away after coming so far.

I was a lost cause who got incredibly lucky, and I'm sorry but luck will only get you so far, and there's no way I can survive on my own.

Second to Annalee.

If you ever read this, I want you to know I don't think you're a murderer. I think you're a crazy bitch who needs to dig her way out of her own rathole, but I also know you do the things you do because you hate this life, and unlike me you have the strength to try. I'm sorry I was such a waste of your time, and I don't want you to blame yourself for whatever happens to me. I don't want anyone to blame you for what happens to me because no one ever did more for me than you.

That's it then I guess.

Goodbye.

Back to Square One

So last post Annalee kicked me out of the house, because I pushed her too far or whatever. Big surprise there, it's probably a surprise it didn't happen sooner.

Actually the real surprise is why I didn't walk out sooner. No one I know would've put up with Annalee's shit. It's like living in bootcamp with Remember the 60's playing nonstop. I've had "My Boyfriend's Back" stuck in my head for days now. Also Annalee, despite the fact you'll never read this because you threw out the guy with the computer, your singing is fucking terrible and The Angels would be ashamed.

Anyway, as soon as the transmission cut she pretty much tossed me out and locked the door. I managed to walk to the road and hitch a ride in to town. I'm not exactly rolling in cash so I've been just kind of hanging in this library and sleeping on park benches. It really isn't ideal. Annalee's tried to teach me poker but I don't exactly have anything to bet with besides my laptop. I really don't want to sell my laptop but the options getting more and more appealing.

I guess I might as well just wait to die. I've been throwing up because of the drugs and it won't be long before the sleeping outside kills me, or I wind up in jail again. Actually jail sounds awesome, I should go get arrested. Or committed. "I spent five months in a shed near area 51 with a psychotic hispanic bitch with a drinking problem, robbing hospitals, and being hunted down by a giant hentai monster and his evil mind control minions."

This is what my life amounted to in the end. Fucking figures.

I don't know where I'm going. It doesn't really matter I guess.

She's probably better off without me anyway. She kept saying I wasn't worth her time, but I know she really was trying to help. It's just a little depressing when the female version of Rambo says even she's done with you and your shit.

But hey, that's what I wanted. I got what I had coming. You say what your thinking to your shitty friends, and low and behold they don't want you around anymore. I guess it won't matter either way.

I have no idea where that leaves you guys, but what do you care? The two of us are just how you distract yourselves from your own petty lives, like a damn reality show.

Please direct any and all self help advice to PO Box Go Fuck Yourself.

I've heard it all before, and I'm done.