Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Bad Dreams

So this week has been pretty irritating for me. Not because anything particularly bad happened. I mean there was the mustache thing but compared to the alternative who even cares?

This week has just been uneventful to be honest, and uneventful weeks are the worst. At some point I'm gonna run out of important things to do and when there isn't anything that needs getting done I get antsy. I need to be working, I need to be accomplishing something or else I just go nuts. I was contemplating going out and buying a paint can and trying to fix up the shack a bit since it's falling apart, but you really shouldn't go out anymore than you absolutely need to, and I don't know all that much about home improvement anyway. I've been checking perimeters every morning and every evening and there's nothing.

I tried teaching Danny how to shoot a gun. That was a disaster. He fired one shot, dropped the gun, and told me shooting was my job and not his. It's like he doesn't comprehend the life or death part of his situation. So he's been no help. The kid needs to learn to push himself a little, I can't afford to waste time on a person with no interest in doing anything to help themselves.

Anyway, nothing to do. I've been revising some of my archives, trying to sort through what's dated and what's not for Danny to write up. I remember thinking Slenderman was an alien for a few months or so, and I some shit with star charts and broke into an observatory to see if I could locate a spaceship. I was such an idiot back then. My handwriting sucked too.

Going through old records is pretty depressing. It brings up shit you didn't really want resurfacing. And when stuff resurfaces, that's usually when I pour myself a drink or two.

And it's not a big thing, it just clears my head some, helps me think about what direction I should be heading in, but that's when I'm awake. Drinking always gives me some freaky ass dreams when I fall asleep.

Last night I fell asleep about 1 AM, and I dreamt I was in a church. It wasn't any church I'd ever been to I don't think. All the walls were wooden and painted white. They were plain except for the one behind the alter which had the cross hanging on it. There was no one inside except for me. I walked up to the alter and leaned against it, and I realized that I was bleeding. There were red stains on the alter cloth, and all over the white walls. I went to open the door so I could go outside, and when I did, there was just this inky blackness outside, like looking out into nothing. The blackness leaked inside, the way a shadow does, you know? Where you can't feel it, but the lights go out and the hairs on the back of your neck stick up. The church went pitch black and I was starting to realize that I was asleep and that I should be working on waking up when I got the distinct feeling that there was something behind me, and when I turned around to see what is was I woke up on the living room couch covered in papers.

I try to record weird dreams because as we all know they are never really just dreams for the stalked. I have a journal, but it's probably high time I start posting some of them on here. I'll have Danny do it too, though I'm not sure he'll agree to talking about it, because he's "adjusting," or something stupid like that. It's a good sanity gauge.

More research coming soon. I'm planning another outing. After that last proxy I'm running low on stuff and looking at some of these blogs online has given me a few new ideas that I'm going to need some stuff to pull off. Not going to talk about it til after the fact much. Trying to be cautious.

It's spring here in the desert. Best time of the year if you ask me, everything is just so pretty. I wish I had a camera, but I don't, so until the next time I guess.

21 comments:

  1. Do you have a fear of the afterlife or religion?

    You might want to be on the lookout for a man wearing a gas-mask.

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    1. To add to this, Gabriella is referring to the Archangel. I don't believe he is as well documented as the Slender Man, but it might be worth looking into.

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    2. Yeah I've heard of him, and I'm not going to waste any time going down that road. I haven't got any business with that thing. If I'm going to answer for my actions I'd much rather do it with God than another fucking monster. My quarrel is with Slenderman, and as far as I can tell Slenderman called first dibs.

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  2. Church...I hate Churches.

    Bunch'a sick fucks work at Churches.

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    1. Oi! I'm Catholic! You might want to be careful of what you insult.

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    2. Lady, lady, lady.

      If only ya knew what kind of shit these so called "Fathers" do behind the curtains, you'd shut on God the second you found out.

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    3. God has nothing to do with any of that. Say what you will about priests, but the church is a sacred place, and it's a comfort to have God around sometimes. At least you know that getting impaled by a fucking octopus in a suit isn't all there is to your life, and that there isn't anything to fear when you stand up to evil when you see it. There's nothing wrong with taking comfort in the fact that there's somebody out there who has your back.

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    4. God? Yeah, Incognito used to believe into that, key word being "Used to". Now if I approach him with anything connected to religion and God, he will probably snap my neck.

      Me? I didn't give a shit about God, but after a certain incident, I started hating God and anything connected to Churches and other shit. God is a delusion for the weak, who can not find a reason to their lives.

      That delusion, tends to turn into a nightmare later on.

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    5. I'm an atheist myself, but I'm gonna stop this argument the Biblical way.

      1 Timothy 2:12
      "But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

      Biblically you should not argue with men, that includes Vikady. Misogynistic and unfair? Yes. But stop arguing please, all of you.

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    6. Well that's a shitty perspective. How could anyone live in this world if not for the hope that there was something better on the other side waiting for them. I don't want to cling to this shitty excuse for an existence because I'm so afraid of what's going to happen to me later. I can't do what I have to do along with the fear of death. I'm striving for something better.

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    7. Annalee, I was raised an atheist. It took me a very long time to comprehend how anyone could think there was anything better or worse than what is on Earth. And no, I don't fear death. To me, an afterlife makes this life seem cheap and shallow. To many, such as you, that enriches it, and that is OK by me.

      But myself, I get one life, this one, and fuck do I want to live it.

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    8. What the heck did I just start?

      Guys, I take it back. NO MORE RELIGION.

      It just gets everyone upset with everyone else.

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    9. If you have time to harass someone for their religion, you have better things to do. Do em.

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    10. Nah, I like discussion so long as it isn't dumb and disrespectful. Discuss away.

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  3. You.

    I can't tell if I like you or not.

    On the one hand, you seem to be the most productive and wonderfully violent person amongst this current generation of pathetic would be fighters.
    On the other hand, I'm upset to find out that someone had apparently come up with the idea of burning down forests several years before me.

    This is a MADDENING dilemma.

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    Replies
    1. What can I say? Spend 15 years alone in a shack and you come up with ideas.

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  4. You always seem to draw a crowd.

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  5. Apologies for my brothers behavior, he's an idiot.

    - Mr. Incognito.

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