Saturday, April 20, 2013

Hi everyone

Daniel here.

No, we're not dead. We lost four days in a loop, according to Anna.

It showed up at our place. Yes, it, IT, you know what I'm talking about, the big guy, the head honcho, Cthulhi's Armani-loving second cousin twice removed. It fucked with my tech, as you all know, and freaked us both out. Before I go too far into the details of exactly what it did here I'm going to explain to Mr Incognito why he should never make assumptions about MY TECHNOLOGY, as well as why he's wrong.

- First up, the Slenderman screws with my stuff majorly, alright? As well as disrupting my coding and nearly completely burning out my recording program, it rerouted the auto-post to a neighboring blog account - Anna's. That's why it said Anna posted it.

- Next, I read that you said 'someone lasted long enough to post this' which means gee you REALLY DON'T LISTEN TO ME. I need to make it very clear to our readers that whether or not we DIE after a recording, my programs will post it to the blog AUTOMATICALLY. If that wasn't the case, why the fuck would I bother with this at all? I have better things to do than make useless stuff, man.

-And then he cut out the audio by frying the mic and the codes I attached to the corresponding software. When that happens, the word "ERROR" is supposed to appear - not necessarily in creepy binary, but I can explain that after a while looking through the files and writing a list of exactly what I need to fix.

- Which, fortunately for you guys, I already did! The binary happened and repeated because as well as murdering my recording and transcript codes, he also screwed with the rest of the program I had in action. My transcripts are put through the spellchecker that came with Microsoft Word 2007 (which is why they aren't always picture-perfect. Lost in translation, right?). I jacked the files out of Word and attached them to my own program, I think I've told you this already? But it deleted those, so I have to redo them. What basically happened was the translation of the base binary codes I used to create my software was completely eradicated. So you just got the binary. And it was repeated because some fragment of my original data-transport pathway was still open, well, on or off.

- I think you all noticed some other glitches as well - like the date stamp prefacing the actual dual-user (two-voice) transcript. That and some of the other things that didn't fit are pretty much just a result of my wonderful programming trying its hardest to do its job, and failing because of Mr Spaghetti. If that makes sense.

If you have any questions, by all means do not bother me with them until I'm finished being busy and overtired.

What pretty much went down was that Annalee heard something and left the cabin with a shotgun. That was when my computers wigged out, as did everything else inside, which admittedly freaked me the fuck out, and then, well, it was in here. With me. And it sort of just got really close to me, and it must have locked Anna out or something because she couldn't get in. And the thing touched me, on the head, like, just reached out real slow and touched my head while I was kind of flipping out, and I'm pretty sure that's when I passed out and Anna busted in through the window. Now, it's four days later even though I could swear it was only a few hours ago and yeah. Not fucking fun.

Once again, just leave the questions here and back away slowly and I'll get to them when I can be bothered.


  1. Mr. Spaghetti, best name for him I've heard so far. I laughed at that.

    And about the automatic posting. Well we are just human, we don't remember EVERYTHING. Excuse us for not remembering that little detail. Just saying.

    Anyway, good to know you two are still alive and fighting. Good luck.<x3

  2. Taking both of you off the death list, good to know everyones alive.

    Only one question, seen anything while being passed out? Nightmares, dreams, illusions, delusions, anything of that sort.

    - Mr. Incognito.

  3. Good to know you both are okay.

  4. Le'see Slendy locked your guardian angel out. And the only thing he did to you, was render you unconscious and strike fear into you.

    Hehe welcome to the club Danny boy, I think you're the next recruit.

    1. Hey dipshit.

      If you have enough time to show up here and wiggle you fingers in the air while making ghost noises, you should probably be out drowning puppies or some shit.

      Second, as a gambling woman I feel obligated to ask how much money you'd be willing to stake on that claim? I took a good look at my odds and I'll pay you a good $900 if it turns out you're right. And by that I mean I'd rip your fucking head off and shove it up your ass.

      Now piss off.

    2. Uuuh bitchy today, aren't we?

      If only I had at least a cent, but then again, I have no purpose fur such primitive things as money.

      Look at the facts WHORE, why else would Master kick you the fuck out. And have his way with that BRAT of a friend you have instead of just killing him?

      I suggest you just put a bullet trough the kid's skull and save yourself the trouble.

      So easy, click, click.

    3. Yeah huh.

      I'll lay it out for you like this. Of course the Slenderman is going to push Danny around. Everybody pushes Danny around, even me. That entire charade was just a big bombastic way of telling Danny his boss isn't going to keep him safe.

      However, who wound up keeping him safe? This girl. See I don't by into that whole defeatist bullshit spiel you Proxies adore throwing at us. It's a big way to make us think something will happen so it does. Danny is under my roof and Slenderman can storm in and blow as much shit up as he wants but it doesn't change the fact that I'm here. And I am the one who is going to kill Slenderman. And when I say nobody is going to get Danny, nobody is going to get Danny.

      Your queen bee might be big bad an ugly, but even she knows when to cut her losses. One lousy proxy isn't worth storming through my fortress.

      So stop trying to make Danny piss his pants, go shove a pole up your ass, and wait for me to come and take that darned cerebral cortex off your hands you goddamn son of a bitch.

      I look forward to your preeminent contributions to the scientific study of Slender fucking.

      Have a nice day.

    4. I remember the days when proxies had style. And actually put effort into psychological warfare beyond "Hey you should totes shoot your friend."

      I miss those days.

    5. Well give um credit they are definitely a great deal more annoying.

    6. You really think he is going to have a struggle going trough your "Fortress?", oh that's hilarious, you give yourself too much credit.

      You speak with such certainty, as if Slendy just went up to you and told you what his intentions were behind that visit. Interesting, have something to confess?

      Defeatist? Oh by all means, do fight, I am nowhere against that, in fact I am giving advice here, because the long your kind lives, them ore destruction your survival will cause and I will be there to enjoy it! You should know yourself bimbo, something ALWAYS happens and it's a fact.

      Is Danny pissing his pants? I didn't know, oh this is glorious!

      Oh also, style? What kind of style? Do yOu MeAn tHis Style? Or maybe in scripting some messages into codes, that will eventually make no sense once cracked? Yeah apologies, I don't have time, nor the patience to do that, I prefer to do things more, openly? Yeah I guess that's a word I can use.

    7. Hi there dumb fuck.
      Kindly quit being a shit, you're giving me a bigger migraine than I already have. P.S nobody cares about anything you have to say, especially not me.

    8. Daaaaw now is that any way to treat a future business colleague?

      Politeness gets you far.

      Then why do you pee your pants, as was stated before, and why do you waste your time replying?

      Tsk Tsk Tsk.

    9. No, Kelevra, soon enough you and I will be on the same ground. As in, we'll soon both be DEAD.

    10. You? Maybe.

      Me? Nah, I still have a looooot of time to play around.

      Tick Tock.

    11. I said piss off a good ten comments ago buster. Now PISS. OFF.

  5. Is automatic posting really a good idea? Fantastically helpful in an emergency of course. But one accidental hit of the play button could broadcast some really awkward situations.

    But aside from that random tangent, glad to see you're ok. Keep an eye out though. That behavior is not normal. He might be up to something.

    1. Dude, the play button is hit manually. I'm not an idiot. Also not much awkward shit goes on around here unless Anna has a guy over. And I sort of want to keep my head attached to my body for a while longer so.

  6. Glad you're still around. You two gave us all a good scare.

  7. Good fucking advice. What the hell is all this crap you're talking about with proxies, though? I don't have anything like that in MY brain. AND I quit.

    1. Have you taken a look recently?

    2. I've seen some of the fuckers coughing up black. I never did, though. I also was never stalked or anything, though, so I may just be a freak.

    3. Anomalies are usually so common the people who don't have them are freaks. Still, there's probably some azoth in your brain.

    4. I have to admit to being intrigued. Almost enough to let you take a peek.

    5. Sorry bud. Only operate on dead folks. It's a safety thing.

    6. I did say almost. I'm not letting anyone cut open my head.