I'm Dying Over Here

(Fair warning that title is Hyperbole. We are not actually dying. Though I'm about to keel over I'm laughing so hard.)

So apparently Proxies blog.

That's like figuring out werewolves blog, and all I can picture is them tapping away at their little laptops like Danny does when he's mad where he gets all mopey and crouched over and it's just fucking hilarious.

From what I can tell most of them surf around the web looking for runner blogs and trying to scare them by sticking out their tongues and going "Nya Nya Nya." And when you've spent some bad nights with proxies thinking you weren't going to see the next morning, watching them write these blogs is downright funny. (Although it may also have to do with the fact I'm a bit tipsy at the moment.)

It still amazes me how childish it is. Maybe that's part of the fear factor for some. A two year old with a gun is a scary thing to behold, I'll admit. You know you can't reason with them not to pull the trigger, and if the two year old is laughing maniacally and spewing shit at you it certainly looks stupid but scares you anyway.

So why not turn this funny littler occurrence into a learning moment about the regression in most proxies.

Proxies, especially the ones who still have personalities have a tendency to behave very childishly. I once had a Proxy manage to get on top of me with a knife to my throat. I was beaten to hell and back and it liked the end for me, but instead of taking care of me she just grabbed a fistful of my hair and screamed at me about how worthless and stupid I was. She honest to God spent a good minute just yanking on my hair and going, "STUPID, STUPID, STUPID." Needless to say it wasn't a very bright move on her part.

Just like there "Daddy," Proxies enjoy playing with their food too. They aren't very efficient, (save perhaps Empty and Passive proxies,) and for them it's more the journey than the destination. They get a big kick out of scaring the shit out of people, and the more they can get under the skin the happier they are.

It's the same as that brat in the third grade who kept poking you no matter how many times you smacked their hand and told them to quit it. The joy is in getting a rise out of you as opposed to causing you any real harm, (Though don't get me wrong, they like the harm fine.)

But they really do regress into kids in some sense, right down to calling the man in charge their father a lot of the time. It's odd seeing as how the Slenderman already has a pretty creepy connection to kids to begin with.

Here's the thing though. I don't think the Slenderman kills children...I mean, yeah he kills some kids, but most of the time what I hear is that they go missing and are never seen again, and when he does kill kids it's usually in some weird or obscure way that doesn't fit at all with some of his more creative methods. Like a fire burning down a school for example never really matched up with gutting a person and putting their innards in plastic bags and hanging them from the trees. Kids contradict the already contradictory patterns by a lot.

I've never come across a child proxy. I know they have to be out there because all these kids have to be going somewhere, but I've never met one. Yet from what I can tell from the regressed proxies is that from the ones I've managed to get any history out of, they go way back with Mr. Tentacles. Were they kids who grew into proxies? Or is there behavior just another weird kitch that comes with being a proxy. I've always wondered about that.

This cure I've been working on has been going slow for a while now. I've been trying to find what makes up the composition of the Azoth, (black liquid) and other than the expected Iron and Carbon the rest of the materials inside of it are completely unidentifiable, and I haven't found any chemical that destroys it.

But kids, they aren't like us adults, they are very different in a lot of ways. And they keep vanishing. Not even a body left to examine. Like there's evidence that needs erasing.

Now there's some food for thought.