Wednesday, April 3, 2013


I'll make this pretty quick. Danny doesn't like it when I borrow his computer when he's napping, but I don't have much better to do at the moment.

Today we're going to learn about proxies. You know, those lovable little scamps who run around in Marilyn Manson masks and kill masses of innocent people? Those guys.

From what I can tell, Proxies are the final stage of the disease. So the miserable creatures who get to live until they're killed off by someone like me. They're people who've been emptied out, or twisted up by the Slender Man and find themselves carrying out his bizarre whims like little puppets.

In my experience I've found about five kinds of proxies.

First you have the Empty Proxies, who are basically just walking corpses. When alive they were probably those people who just decided to lay down and die. They don't talk or do much. They're just zombies for the most part, just doing whatever. In autopsies there brains are saturated with black liquid, as are their lungs, and arteries. From what I can tell, I don't think they need to eat or drink much, because they're stomachs are always empty. Then again I expect they'd be vomiting a lot so that may be the cause of it.

Next you have Manic Proxies. I'm not sure if these guys are really proxies are just plain crazy people. Their autopsies would say Proxy, but there's not too much logic to these guys. These guys can be in an especially good mood, cackling and rolling around in the blood of their enemies, and then before you can blink be screaming and shouting obscenities, crying over things that don't even make sense. A lot of children who become proxies wind up like these guys, as well as people who are kind of crazy to begin with. They're unpredictable, and there's really no rhyme or reason to how they work. They kill randomly and I've found that a good deal of them get arrested and put in jail as serial killers, (probably because they draw a lot of attention to themselves.) These are probably the most dangerous kind of proxy, simply because of how unpredictable they are. The strangest thing about their autopsy is that the concentration of the black liquid is located mostly in the Amygdala and really nowhere else (for those of you who don't know the Amygdala is a section of the brain that controls memory and emotional responses, make of that what you will.)

After that you have what I like to call, The Pain in the Ass Poets. I don't even really feel sorry for these whack jobs. Not only do they all seemed pleased as punch to be proxies, but man do these assholes love to monologue. They love to give you these shit eating grins, and tell you about how stupid, useless, and insignificant you are. It's just all, "blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm a fucking psycho and proud of it, and you should be kissing my feet." These idiots never really grasp that they are puppets. At least the Manic Proxies can be in denial about it, but for these fuckers it never even sinks in. They are all pretty pompous and love to spew prose at you. I'm guessing they were some self-righteous assholes before they turned, and they just never even realized how fucked up they became. Overall they're just annoying. They love to play mind games, but it's not like I have time for that so they're a pretty easy kill if you don't let em psyche you out. They're autopsies are pretty useless also. They have almost no black liquid. They're just twisted assholes.

After that you have the Sleeping Proxies, which are actually just people who are far gone. Right before you turn, there's an interval where you black out and start doing shit in your sleep, or you start behaving odd, or hearing voices in your head. It's the stage in-between. For obvious reasons I've never done an autopsy on this kind of proxy.

And the last type is the Passive Proxy, and these are the guys who just do not care. They have even less black liquid saturation in the brain than the Poet, (although there is a lot of build up in the lungs and arteries,) but they really just aren't all that active. They're dangerous yeah, but sometimes you'll find one who just doesn't care enough to kill you. I think these are the fighters who became proxies. Just sort of sad and resigned to their fate. I pity these guys, and a lot of the time they aren't all that upset to die. They don't make a big fuss over it. In fact I think a lot of proxies are happy to go.

That's the thing you have to remember about Proxies, they are gone. You can't save proxies. You can try, but it'll do more damage to you than anything else.

I used to be in the business of trying to bring proxies back. Back when I was still a newbie to all of this. I was probably about sixteen? Seventeen maybe? Hitchhiking around Texas with this guy named Rex and his posse of runners. They used to hide up in tree's and have me stand in the woods as bait, then if a proxy came a long they'd drop a brick or a bowling ball or something like that, set up traps, or knock em out, and then we'd make off with them; tie them up in warehouses and try to figure out how to fix them. Those were the days.

Rex had kind of a chip on his shoulder. I think his brother or something might of turned, but I'm not sure. He used to sit there and all but torture these proxies, trying to get something out of them. At the time I don't think many of us realized how hopeless it was. He tried everything he could think of, being nice, being threatening, provoking them, interviewing them about their lives. He'd switch us out and we'd do the good cop, bad cop routine.

Finally we found a proxy who seemed pretty unstable, and it was clear she'd just turned. Rex thought this was gonna be the one that would lead to the answer. That if we saved this one, we'd somehow be able to figure out how to save the rest. He worked on this proxy 24/7, non-stop, just doing everything he could to bring her back. After weeks of this, one day she just came back. She could remember things about her life again, and she got weepy and clingy with Rex. Couldn't be alone, always crying. Rex said it was because she was recovering from the shock, and that made sense. She was always apologizing. I spent a night watching her when Rex went out once, and she wound up all over me, just telling me how sorry she was and how she didn't mean it and that she was scared and please oh please don't leave me. The woman must've been twice my age, and it was just weird. But she was recovering, she was healing. She was getting healthier, and as time went on she became more stable and we thought for a one shining month that we had done it.

And then one night she snapped. She killed Rex and a few of the others in our group. Left me with a nasty scar on my neck. She ran off and to this day I have no idea what happened to her. She's probably dead by now. The woman was an entire laundry list of problems. That was when it became pretty clear that being brain wiped isn't something you can just come back from, and that sometimes there are some people who aren't worth saving.

Nowadays if you see a proxy it's best just to kill it while you can. They were people once, but letting them live is more detrimental than it is beneficial. They love mind games, and all it takes is dropping your guard once for them to get you. You do not want them within a thirty mile radius of you unless they have a bullet in their head. I've read a couple of miracle cases online, where a very strong person mentally can manage to come back, but relapses are more common than you'd think, and miracle cases are the exception and not the rule. If you want to stay alive, and you want to keep your sanity in tact, kill or at least avoid all proxies.


  1. I'm all for it. It's kill or be killed out there, and anyone who thinks otherwise is kidding themselves.

  2. Never had cut them up, never saw the point in doing so. Still see no point in doing so, just a bullet and thats it. Only instance I kept a proxy alive is if I needed some info.

    The problem is to know the line when you kill people. If you feel remorse with every kill, feel bad about it, you have a chance at normal life after this shit stops. But those who feel no guilt, they have no chances at normal life.

    - Mr. Incognito.

    1. We're being hunted by a killer octopus man. Normalcy flew the coop a while ago.

    2. Hey, that's MY nickname for him. Go find your own!

  3. In the amygdala? Huh... I wonder what the effects would be in other parts of the brain.

    Problem with the 'kill them all' philosophy is that there have been proxies who've made a partial recovery, or slipped through the cracks. It was mostly on their own onus, with outside help however. Can't save someone who doesn't really, truly want out, and I get the impression being a Proxy is rather like having a crippling addiction.

    That said, I'm not belittling what happened to your friend and others. You have good reason for just taking the safest route.

    1. To be honest I'm not sure I'd want to wake up after becoming a proxy. Blacking out is upsetting enough, but to just lose your mind and go on murdering rampages, only to wake up and find out. I think I'd prefer it if I was shot in the head first.

  4. Know what? I'm not even gonna say anything.

    You have your way of dealing with things and I have mine. Just don't expect me to ever let you kill someone if I'm right there in front of you.

  5. Unstable people are still people. This is disgusting.

    1. When you're trudging through the arctic with a group, and one by one people start falling down sick, you can try and drag the sick through, but doing so you slow down the entire group as a whole and risk everyone else's safety as well as their lives.

      It's stated in the very first sentence of this blog sweetheart. I hate my job, but I'm gonna do it in the hopes that someday no one else is ever going to have to do it again. I can't save proxies, and I can't have them going out to kill other people. Sometimes some of us have to do the world's dirty work to keep everyone else on a clean slate. It's just how it is.

    2. If you know you've got medicine for them, then you bring them along.

      I'm not going to argue what you do, because you have your way of doing things, and I don't like that but I don't have any right to make choices for you. Just stay away from Picasso. Please.

    3. A friend of mine. A former proxy who decided OF HER OWN ACCORD to go rogue and fight the monster. She's definitely unstable, but she's a good person and trying really hard to do some good.

    4. Good for her.

      That doesn't change the fact that when you have people trying to kill you and other people, you have to handle it. Knocking people out only works for so long, and it's not like I have the time or resources to lock them up and help them.

      I'm not like most people where proxies they only have one or to proxies to deal with. A lot of the time they're just everywhere. I know they were people at one point and I'm sorry, but I tried the searching for bodies game and just trying to disable them and it was too much to deal with. If you've got a problem I refer you to the first few sentences of my first post.